The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize