I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
