Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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