he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
