Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize