I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
