I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
