My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There's always time for handjobs
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
