Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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