I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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