I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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