I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
