What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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