Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
All I want is dick and wine.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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