so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
