actually, I'm a sock model
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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