Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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