How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
