Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
