The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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