How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
