i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
