So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
