I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
