Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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