i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i need some magic done to my vagina
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
