I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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