I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
