I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
