I seem to have left my pride at pride
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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