So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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