I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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