All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
