my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
