omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
