But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My hand turned me down
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
