Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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