that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
