You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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