at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize