how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize