Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
