She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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