Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
