Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize