Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
