bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We are all done wearing pants today
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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