isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
