I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
