well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
