her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize