we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
