His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
