that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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