she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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