I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
