over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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