she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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