Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
