this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
