dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
