I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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