and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
